by, Renee Wood

This is a messed-up world we live in right now. Police shooting unarmed black/brown/disabled men for minor offenses, and sometimes innocent of any offense, at a higher rate percentagewise, than white/non-disable people. Also, we now have mostly young white men committing mass murders in innocent places such as; schools, places of worship, stores and theaters at an epidemic rate that keeps rising exponentially. Ontop of that, people are willfully ignoring that the earth has limited resources, as well as a sensitive eco-biosphere that must be maintained for the survival of ANY life on earth.

To summarize all of the above, it seems; anything “other” than what one knows, or has experienced, sends many into a frightened state of frenzy, then they can’t vocalize their fears, for fear they may innovertly use the wrong word, hurt someone’s feelings, and then they are labeled with a word that offends them! We have to be able to vocalize what we believe and fear without being labeled as a bigot, racist, ablest or homophobe. Without open conversations, even well-meaning people shut-up because they don’t know the correct term to use. We can’t solve the issue if we can’t accept some wrong words – communicating is critical to understanding our common humaness.

Much of it would seem to boil down to selfishness. “I want things to stay the same. I don’t want to learn new stuff – just leave me alone!” “I don’t understand those people – why can’t they just stay over there and we’ll all be happy?” “I want to eat meat for every meal, every day – what do you mean livestock destroys too much land and causes more carbon than fossil fuels? Just because lots of land and water is needed to feed one cow – and then cows poop and fart? That just sounds stupid! Maybe there’s an over population of people – kill off some of them and leave my meat alone!”

However, I have a different hypothesis. What if police over reacting to skin tone, or behaving differently, isn’t selfishness (prejudice) at all, but an archaic survival instinct that hasn’t evolved as fast as our society has? Back in time, peoples were spread out and rarely seen others who didn’t look, act, or behave like them. When someone showed up that was not from them, it caused much caution and fear that they might get hurt, or taken over by strangers. Many times these meetings often led to death on both sides. Rarely did tribes invite strangers showing up from another tribe in to share coconut milk with them. In those days this was a matter of survival. Although logically I think most in society are past the real fear of difference, at least on the surface level, but I wonder if some of that survival instinct to protect from that which is “other” is still there, but dormant, and appears during stressful situations. I just don’t think police who commit these atrocities wake-up with the intent of killing black people, (the exclusion would be Derek Chauvin, as well as a few other officers who seem to have an intentional, calus disregard for other human life). The above hypothesis should be studied because if true, we can train it out of police officers, so they don’t instinctually overreact to difference.

This is not, nor will be, in my mind, an excuse for shooting someone who otherwise would not have been shot, had they looked and behaved like the shooter. Everyone who has some level of competence is responsible and should be held accountable for their actions. If this hypothesis pans out to be true however, we will know where the problem lies and start training to address the issue.

This instinctual fear of “other” does exist as early as 3 months old. This became apparent whenever I would smile or talk to a baby – they would scream. I know I can be scary in meetings with State people, but this was a scream to be protected. However none of my 7 nieces and nephews reacted this way to me. They would smile, laugh and give kisses. This is because I knew them from day one of their lives, I wasn’t seen as “other” to them. I was Aunt Renee and apart of them.

The answer might lie in having meaningful relationships with those not like “us”, whomever that “us” is in your world. I’m not talking “professional” relationships where one spends a day or 2 in a neighborhood, or on a Good Samaritan project, assisting “others” – those seen as “less fortunate” than oneself. If anything that creates more of an “otherness” because it puts one in a superior role “I’m better than them” “Thank God that’s not me.” Assisting people should come from a servant attitude, and as a servant you listen and provide what they need. Aside from assisting with needs, people have to have real friendships with others who are unlike them.

Many don’t know this about me, but in my adult life, from 20 til 27 years old, I lived in mostly white neighborhoods. These places were thought of as “safe”, but I still don’t know if they were actually safer because they were known to be “white neighborhoods”, or if they were actually safer than other neighborhoods. Anyway, I had a spiritual awakening that called me back to church. I was drawn to a church in the central city. I loved the people there, I felt welcomed and included in everything. Well to get to that church, it was an hour and half bus ride one-way on Sundays. This would preclude me from activities during the week. About a year after going to this church, I discovered a brand new housing project for people with disabilities, and was in walking (wheeling) distance of the church. Other things were attractive about the apartment such as they were one-story, with a front and back door to each apartment – no main doors, just walk straight into your own apartment. I hated going through main doors to walk hallways to get to your apartment – felt like an institution rather than home. Also my friend moved there so I thought we’d hangout together and they were brand new, so if I moved there I would be the first to live in that unit. Although a bonus, this was not unusual for me since I lived in 2 other brand new apartment complexes (a story for another day).

In deciding to move there all hell broke loose among family and friends – “Do you know where that is?” they would say, “Right in the heart of —–town!” They went on and on with the racial stuff. I was never bothered by skin color, and hell, I was poorer than some of them, it just felt right to me, and so I moved from my lily white neighborhood right into the heart of color and poverty. I lived there for 13 years – I traveled the streets in my wheelchair, I could get anywhere. I was freer there than anywhere in my life before, as well as after. I made good friends in that neighborhood. The apartments had 1, 2 & 3 bedroom units, so families with disabilities lived there too. There were kids and middle age, and young people, but me and my friend were about the only white people in that 40 unit complex, as well as the neighborhood. I learned what real community was, barbecues, talking to neighbors, helping one another. Was it all sunshine and roses? Of course not, no place is, but it was the best.

People can’t really know “others” until they live among them, and with time the “other” becomes familiar until there is no “other” it’s just all of us.

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